Southern girls do WHAT?!

That’s right Nevada……southern girls watch football. EEEEK!!! No, really? They really do THAT?

 Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of ALL ages…you know you have waited for it…the FOOTBALL post from Ali. Hold your horses Auburn fans…..this isn’t what you think it is. They’ll be no overabundance of Roll Tide or Ramer Jammers. This post is for Nevada and its surrounding westerners. So keep reading fellow barner friends…you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the end.

When my family announced that we were moving from the wonderful township of the Ham….the first comment that came out of EVERYONE’s mouth was a resounding…”What will YOU do about football season?” I would publicly wipe the swelling tear factory from my eyes and say “I’m coming back to EVERY game via Southwest airlines. I promise!”  Errr…..we made it back to one…..and y’all know WHICH one. OUCH.

It has been a TOUGH football season for me....the first season in twenty five years that I didn’t go to all if not most Bama home games. I know, I know…pull the tissue out. Leith and I have had season football tix since we married and all of my kids started going to games as newborns. On top of missing the games this year, I have had some crazy things happen regarding my LOVE for BAMA here in the silver state…um Nevada. I want to share some of the ACTUAL questions/experiences I have encountered from my peeps here out west. Again….grab a bucket of popcorn, milk duds, or whatever you enjoy noshing on. 

1. “You mean girls in the south REALLY watch football?”  YES. Women in the south either watch football on Saturday or chat with their friends during the game while their husbands watch. I only hang with the girls that watch the game….which means there isn’t much hanging. Oh, and guess what? I understand the game and scream and yell at officials, players, and the horrible guys that announce the games on TV.  By the way, CBS…you are warned…you would be better off grabbing the ESPN tennis play-by-play guys. No. Really.

If any westerner doubts a southern girls ability to understand football they need to show up to a high school powder puff encounter. (Webster definition)…”powder puff games are football games that are played by girls;.usually in high school during homecoming festivities. It involves real football plays, foul language, hair pulling, and some lost teeth. SCHS class of ’91 won both powder puff games two years in a row.” Yep. Where is the trophy, ladies?

2. “Are you a true BAMA fan or one of those riding the BAMA wave that just used to live there?” Ouch. Someone really did ask me that. Here goes Nevada…….

a. I was raised a Bama fan. One of my first memories (around five "ish”) is of my Dad teaching me when it is appropriate to walk in front of the TV during a football game. I have since passed this invaluable lesson onto my children. (commercials or right after the fourth down play when there is a slight pause in the game) Any disregard for this rule will cause yelling or throwing of objects to ensue.

b. My uncle played football there…and not for Bear….the guy before Mr. Bryant. What was his name again? My brother was a cheerleader..WAY cool. I was an athletic hostess and a majorette. That athletic hostess gig wasn’t as cool as it might sound. Think hostess…food….and golf team. Bleh.

c. I loved my team through sanctions. Enough said. That stunk.

3. “Do you really believe that the SEC is the best?” HERE WE GO!! I have this thrown in my face constantly over the past six months. The terms “SEC is overrated, redneck, and Sugar Bowl ’08) are phrases that gripe my innerds. Ok Nevada..that means “insides”. I have found myself in dark places….defending the Aubs.  WHA??!! Well… I am not loopy. I acknowledge that there are amazing teams all across the country…even in the Mountain West…but that isn’t what I am addressing. Our football schedules should speak for itself, but there is much more involved in being the superior conference.

SEC fans plan their entire weekend around the game. Women prep the food for tailgates days before the big game and Saturday is spent entirely watching football and eating grub. Hence the extra pounds the south wears around the belly. Plus it is seriously cool to sit in a stadium with 100,000 people cheering on your team.

Church functions, clubs, and youth sports are scheduled around SEC football. Stores could close their doors during a big game. No traffic.

Clothing attire is school colors, jerseys, or perhaps just painted on to show support. This could happen any day of the week….not just Saturday. “No kids, you can’t paint your face today. It might distract the teacher.”

People REALLY do scream their “Roll Tides” , “War Eagles’, and “Go Gators” at each other …..often to complete strangers. I saw a Bama houndstooth hat here in Vegas a few weeks ago…..”ROLL TIDE!”. It was like finding a long lost friend. 

SEC fans will hate each other, scream obnoxious cheers when we win, laugh at each others fans, and degrade each others coaches…..but outsiders better not try it. It’s like living with siblings…..we can do horrible things to one another, but when someone else tries to do the same… it is war. So that is what I am doing out here folks. I’m fighting the SEC war for the sake of the south. 

Outsiders should have it on their bucket list to go to an SEC game at least once in their lives. Well…..make sure Vandy isn’t involved. Vandy to the SEC is like the smart kid you pick to be in your study group.

There ya go Nevada and surrounding areas. Don’t be too sad though. I’ve got your back next post.  The south has perceptions of Sin City that must be changed. I’m just the one to do it. Until then, ROLL TIDE, GO SEC, and please buy some UNLV car flags to support your team. C’mon….you can do it!

 ALi

It's (Na va duh) not (Na vah duh)

Why, Ali? You've made fun of people who blog before. Why start this now? Here....we...go...

1. First and most importantly....I need proof that I have lived on this planet. I never allow pics to be taken of me. It is flashbacks from too many fake smiles at Bryant Denny. My kids need a journal of their life and I've heard that Snapfish or some other online source will print and bind these blog posts. Coolio.
2. My parents simply can't or won't skype. So here ya go parentals.....thoughts, activities, and pics of your grandkids. I am wiping the guilt off of my shoulder as I speak.
3. I enjoy making fun of myself. Everyday something happens in my life that is just darn nuts. Maybe it is raising four kids or simply that I am an easy target. It is worth more laughs than my household can view.
4. I have a weird sense of humor. I would make Seinfeld proud. Since my children are too young to appreciate these tidbits now, it shall be saved for their future viewing pleasure (horror). Grab the popcorn now.
5. I need an outlet. In Birmingham I was LOADED with responsibilities........mom, wife, friend, room mom, church youth leader, softball coach, taxi, etc etc. Here in Vegas I haven't found my niche just yet. Hence the extra time and monkey on my back to write.  Need a tissue?

Simply, after living in the south for 37 years my family took a shot at change by moving to Sin City, land of neon, the city that never sleeps, tattooville, the desert. The hubs is starting a company out here with a college bud. He's busy. Kids are busy. Ali is.......not as busy. Don't get me wrong. I am a flippin taxi. These kids are driving me wacko with the activities and getting them around. I am sure that one day these kids will put me on a Dr. Phil show called "My mom had us in a car too much instead of allowing us to play at home and become normal." Well, bring it on kids.....I'd like to rub Dr. Phil's head and it would be a free trip to Cali....but for now grab your juice box, pretzels, that DVD and get in the car.  

In the meantime, I am going to share my new and past experiences of a southern chick moving from the land of mosquitoes, humidity, and football, to the land of dry heat, tattoos, and neon. All of my close friends know that I will make fun of myself first and foremost...and constantly. However, if you are a sensitive southerner or Nevadan, you might not want to join in on my fun. I already have hours worth of experiences form here in the desert. I love the south and I love the desert. It should be a fun ride.